Who holds you when your world falls apart?

Some people become so accustomed to being the strong one, the dependable one, the person everybody turns to in times of difficulty, that their own emotional needs quietly disappear into the background.

They listen, reassure, comfort and support others, often carrying the emotional weight of those around them.

But what happens when they are the ones who are struggling?

Who notices when they’re exhausted? Who asks how they’re really feeling? Who offers them the same tenderness, compassion and emotional support they so freely give to others?

For some, being the strong one is a role they learnt in childhood. Perhaps they grew up believing that their own needs were less important, that vulnerability was unsafe or that being loved meant being useful to others.

Over time, these childhood adaptations can develop into patterns of people pleasing, emotional self reliance and difficulty asking for or receiving support.

In this reflective piece to camera, I explore emotional loneliness, the burden of always being strong, the importance of reciprocal relationships and our fundamental human need to feel seen, valued, supported and emotionally held.

Through self awareness, self compassion and inner child healing, we can begin to recognise that our needs matter just as much as everybody else’s.

We were never meant to carry everything alone.

Sometimes the people who spend their lives holding everyone else together are the very people quietly longing for someone to hold them.

And perhaps the most important question we can ask ourselves is:

Who’s holding me?